May. 24th, 2026

Poem

May. 24th, 2026 01:45 pm
solspeak: (Default)
I'm delaying on my other post to write down a poem I saw on the dorm bulletin. 

    Finally, Some Concrete Career Advice

    Don't be an actor. God observes you
    violent in a scene and, thinking it is real, mistakenly
    adds you to Hell. This happens all the time.
    It's like when I traveled 
    across eight states in shattering
    pain to curl beside L as she left this Earth, only to later
    have a dream I'd instead stayed home
    eating fruit cups and sewing a patch on my jeans.
    I didn't know a dream
    could undo a true event, uncement it,
    but it did—from then on, I hadn't gone, and how
    do I live with myself now, I ask each day—

There was no author mentioned. (But internet researcher rionleanheart found it to be Natalie Shapero.)

It sounds like a story about thinking a dream could overwrite a real event. An odd happening where it's possible to feel guilty over something that didn't happen that you didn't do, that you did the opposite of. How strange. It makes me think of moral OCD or other forms of religious horror. 
solspeak: (Default)
 I cannot say I am deeply in this fandom, but I felt compelled to make such a post. This is like... based on vibes and fic... and opinions that I didn't think I would feel strongly about but I do for some reason. 

Chris jerked off a few times when he was younger, but theater life got him and now he doesn't have the time to masturbating anymore. It's just not attention-grabbing enough when he tries. 
 
Robert has never once been able to please himself. All his energy goes into THEATER and getting his jollies off of the torments he can inflict on those who displeased him (e.g. Chris) or the performances he can put on putting himself in increasingly convoluted positions. Some unlucky theater member will know this when they try to have sex one day and it ends up with Robert trying to act at them instead.
 
Sandra masturbates but thinks it's something everyone does and doesn't really feel it's worth commenting on. One day the subject comes up and she gives a very detailed monologue of exactly what toys she likes and what fantasies she has or how she acts on them and she's surprised when to hear that not everybody has this kind of detailing at the drop of a hat. 
 
Annie thinks of being the lead role in a play when she's fantasizing. The play involves a lot of violence directed at non-Annie targets as she romps around covered in blood. 
 
Vanessa masturbates nervously in the bathroom after her audition, before she appears in roles she's unsure about, and then finally sometimes when she's comfortable and horny. She doesn't tend to think of anybody in particular but more the situation at hand, until the people begin situationing. 
 
Max thinks about gently guiding others to orgasm sometimes. He hasn't thought about it that much outside of fantasies, so if someone asked him to he would stammer a bit before agreeing and if someone offered to do the same to him he'd probably bluescreen. He'd also never bring it up on his own. 
 
Dennis got stuck in a watermelon once (they said on the internet it was a good idea...) and the experience was frustrating enough that he stopped trying and also feels weird about eating watermelon nowadays.
 
Jonathan gets off with a normal amount of relief. The universe is merciful about some things. 
 
Trevor's still thinking about that one time he and Robert had an experience together. 

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